Tag Archives: spiderman

Which superhero would make the best joggler?

I often ask myself: Which superhero would make the best joggler? It is difficult to answer, since no superhero has ever been known to joggle. I will try my best to answer based on what is currently known about 4 of the most famous superheroes:

1) Superman – The most powerful and god-like of superheroes. Can fly and also run very fast. Loves wearing tights. Has great coordination and is incredibly strong. Has X-ray vision and is bullet-proof and largely fire proof. Has an on/off relationship with Lois Lane. Is an alien from another planet. Can be greatly weakened if exposed to a metal called kryptonite. I believe he could easily joggle 3 balls for possibly thousands of miles without dropping any balls so long as he is not exposed to kryptonite along the way. Come to think of it, could likely joggle 5, 7, or even 9 balls for many miles without dropping. And the balls could weigh 1,000 lbs each. His alter ego, newspaper reporter Clark Kent wouldn’t want to joggle to avoid attracting attention.
2) Spiderman – Can climb almost anything fast and is extremely agile and flexible. Can shoot spiderwebs to help him climb, swing or to trap his enemies. Also loves wearing tights. Is super-strong, but not as strong as Superman and can’t fly either. Got his superpowers by getting bitten by a radioactive spider. Could likely joggle almost as well as
Superman, but for a much shorter length of time. Doesn’t seem to have Superman’s endurance or strength, but joggling 5 or 7 balls could come easy with some practice, though not with heavy balls. Secret identity is Peter Parker.
3) Iron Man – Has no innate superpowers. He is a mere mortal named Tony Stark, a billionaire playboy, and genius technologist. He only has super powers when he wears his bullet-proof metal-suit he built that makes him almost as powerful as Superman, allowing him to fly great distances and to have super-strength. The suit is also equipped with a super-computer(probably runs on Linux), and various weapons. Iron Man could likely joggle well in his suit, with the assistance of his artificial intelligence super-computer helping him do the calculations(his main limitation would be the suit running out of power or becoming damaged or an attractive woman distracting him). Tony Stark without the Iron Man suit could probably joggle 3 balls for a few miles, so long as he remains sober and that the balls aren’t heavy.
4) Batman – Secret identity is Bruce Wayne and is similar to Iron Man in that he has no innate superpowers. He is also a billionaire, who has access to all sorts of advanced weapons and toys. His bat-suit is bullet-resistant, and he has limited flying ability in it. Highly intelligent and very skilled in martial arts. Could very likely joggle, since he is very athletic and well-coordinated due to his martial arts training. Could possibly joggle 3 balls through an entire marathon with enough practice. Like a lot of superheroes, loves to wear tights and is sometimes assisted by a younger man called Robin who also wears tights which arouses suspicion.

To me, it is obvious that Superman would make the best joggler. If you disagree, please explain why.

Picture sources: Wikicommons and public domain